PEBBLES AND PETALS RITUAL

Water is fluid, soft, and yielding. But water will wear away rock, which is rigid and cannot yield. As a rule, whatever is fluid, soft, and yielding will overcome whatever is rigid and hard. This is another paradox: what is soft is strong.
- Lao-Tzu (600 B.C.)

 

Ingredients: water, pebbles, flower petals (or pine needles, leaves, etc.)

Before beginning, each participant is to carefully choose several stones and several petals.

You are invited to sit alone or in community, near a body of water (lake, stream, ocean), or set a large, clear bowl of water near you.

Prepare your ritual by taking several deep breaths. Feel your chest and belly expanding as you inhale, and contracting as you exhale. Invite calm, love and healing into the space.

As you may know, Tooker passed from this world to the next through the medium of water.

Life is born from water. Ocean water was the womb of life on this planet, and every womb that shelters a developing embryo is a small, enclosed ocean.

Water respects its own cycle. Rain wafts from the surface of the ocean to sail with the clouds, condensing into raindrops that fall to earth, run into streams and flow into rivers until they return back to the sea. All the waters on earth are connected. Every drop is part of the larger flow.

So too our life is a process of return. We come into life like a clear spring high in the mountains. In childhood and youth, we are like a dancing stream, full of energy, playful, strong enough to carve mountains. In maturity, we are like a broad river, a bit slower perhaps, but able to carry tremendous loads and irrigate broad fields. Finally, in the end, we return our waters to the ocean, merging with the greater tides and currents.

As you breathe, reflect on the cycles of water, and the cycles of life.

The elements of water I invite us to reflect on include: powers of intuition and emotion; the ability to dream, love, grieve, cleanse, heal, refresh; the qualities of fluidity, purity, depth; the colors blue, purple, silver; and the moon.

Notice the water before us (a large bowl, a lake, stream, etc.) This will be our centre of beauty, our shrine, alter, and sacred space.

The stones we hold represent heavy burdens to us; burdens of loss, grief, anger, sadness, confusion etc. Consider what your own burdens are. Sit in silence for 2-3 minutes...

One by one everyone is welcome to release the burdens we carry by dropping their stones in the water. Notice how the water takes the weight and lightens your load.

Be mindful that even in your darkest moments and with your heaviest burdens there is always goodness and beauty to be gleaned, even though it may not be evident at the time.

Now gently rub the petals between your fingertips and feel them cradled in your palm. These petals represent beauty, our light-heartedness, joy, etc. Consider your own joy, what is beautiful in your world, what makes you smile, what lightens your burdens. Sit in silence for 2-3 minutes. Scatter the petals on the water in celebration of beauty, truth, faith, love.

Notice that the rocks sink, while the petals float, weightless, bobbing with the waves. So may the water take on our burdens and sorrows, while our joys and truths hover around us, offering colour and beauty to our lives.

As we sit in silence, consider what you've learned in the year since Tooker's passing. What has his death prompted you to develop in yourself? How has his passing changed your perspective of community? Has his passing inspired you to take better care of yourself and your loved ones?

I invite you to commit, in the near term, to reach out to a friend or family member who is suffering or needing support. A phone call, an email, or an invitation to visit may be all it takes to lift someone from a vulnerable moment.

When you are ready, let the colour green - for growth - bathe you and renew you. Follow with an infusion of the colour rose, for your own love for yourself. And end by filling yourself with the shining golden light and warmth of the sun.

Slowly bend forward and touch your forehead to the earth, giving thanks for its support. Offer thanks for the sea and sky and all creatures therein. Give thanks to Tooker for his contributions to this earth. And give thanks to all the people in your life who have contributed their unique gifts to make a better world. Finally, give thanks for your own precious life. Blessed be.

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Symbols and beauty - ritual, flowers, art, music, poetry - can wake us up to ourselves in a penetrating way, and allow for transformation, healing and awareness to dawn. They communicate beyond words.

Ritual and community gathering can give us the opportunity to genuinely touch our pain or grief, and allow the magic, the energy of the group, and our own intention to help us move, shift, or transform in some positive way.

Thank you for participating in this small way to acknowledge Tooker's passing, to celebrate your community, and to honour your own beautiful self.

Special thanks to Starhawk and to Sally I. for help with the ritual text above.